You know when its time to trust the magic of new beginnings. I believe that when you make a conscious decision to change who you are as a person. God will set up certain life events to challenge and shape you into the person you were meant to be.
Here I am at the age of 33 not really knowing my full potential and who I shall be. I was attending church more and just learning about my identity in Christ. I was learning that I didn’t have to accept my life as it was, and I can change and become great. My life wasn’t horrible, but I wasn’t progressing. I was filled with insecurity about my weight, always feeling not good enough. I was coasting through watching things happen for other people, not knowing that it could happen for me also. Then life became interesting.

I was filled with insecurity about my weight, always feeling not good enough. I was undisciplined with money, food choices, and emotions

As I mentioned above, I was just coasting through life, but things took a turn. I started to receive the consequences of an undisciplined life. I was undisciplined with money, food choices, and emotions. We will start with the money choices. I was making impulse choices and spending above my means. I started taking out outrageous loans to cover my bad spending habits, and when that didn’t resolve my money issue, I started asking my dad for money to cover essential bills. Next was the food choices. I was eating any and everything I wanted, not caring about what it was doing to my body, because I didn’t love myself enough to take care of it. And then not being able to control my emotions. I was saying whatever was on my mind and not caring how others felt. I also didn’t take other people’s feelings into consideration. I was very selfish. Then life happened, I was faced with not being able to pay my rent, and I had to leave my cute apartment and move in with a relative. My dad wasn’t there to save me, I couldn’t rely on another loan because I was so behind on my current loans. I was faced with two choices do I leave Texas and move back to my small hometown in Louisiana and forget about my troubles, or do I stay in Texas, trust God and become a better and stronger person. I chose the later and it has made all the difference in my life.
So here we go with trusting the magic of new beginnings. The day of the move out from my cute apartment was a horrible gut wrenching experience.

I was giving my living room set away, and that person’s day of happiness and feeling grateful to God, was my day of sorrow and hurt, asking God why me

I was packing and crying at the same time. I was moving my whole life to a relative’s bedroom in her home. I was thankful for a place to be whilst I was in this experience, but it didn’t make it any easier. I had to part with my furniture. I was giving my living room set away, and that person’s day of happiness and feeling grateful to God, was my day of sorrow and hurt, asking God why me. That was the moment that defined the whole day for me and made this whole experience real. I was standing there looking at my whole life, sit in someone’s else garage. Everyday from that forward was trusting God and fighting feelings of wanting to give up and quit on life. I had to take a real look in the mirror and see myself for who I really was. I was an insecure woman, who let life get messy and unorganised. I fell to my knees and asked God to change me and help me to become who I was supposed to be. 
Moving forward, I started with small changes. I decided, and I told myself that I would be back into my own apartment by my next birthday, which was one year away. I introduced discipline in my life. I put myself on a schedule. I started working out early in the morning and making better food choices. I started actively applying God’s principles into my life. This is when I realised who I was as a person. I started wanting more for my life and I took the step of applying for a marketing position. I left my old position as an administrative assistant to a more rewarding career in marketing. The courage that it took only came from God. So, I started working in my new career, while still living in a bedroom in someone else’s house. I discovered that I’m creative, fun, and a people person. I became happy amid a bad circumstance. I was able to save money with the new position and get my finances in order. I then started to apply for a new apartment home.

 I discovered that I’m creative, fun, and a people person. I became happy amid a bad circumstance

I was so scared that I wouldn’t get approved, because I just broke a lease with my previous place. But, it was a God lead move, so I applied, and I was approved the same day!! I was so relived and happy. It was four months until my birthday! I love this brave new girl I’m becoming, trusting and living for God. My body started to change also. I lost some weight and became the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. And when you feel good on the inside it shows on the outside. I became a kinder person and a giving person. I stopped doubting myself and trusted myself and abilities more. I became stronger! My life started to get in order and everything flowed. I became responsible with handling money. I started to purchase new furniture for my new apartment and placed everything in storage. God, restored everything I lost and gave me better than I had before.
So, my story wasn’t a change that happened by choice, it was by me asking God to change me, not knowing that he would break me to do it. I stand before you as a beautiful, happy, secure, and whole person. I’m grounded and I believe in who I am. I learned that everything I went through had to happen, so I can know that God is everything and to know that trusting and having faith isn’t easy, but it is oh so worth it.

Instagram: @happilylexi