I was talking to my friend recently about how life has changed and how I used to be so afraid of talking to people. I would be in a conversation with someone and whilst they were talking, I would be thinking ‘what am I going to say’ not because I had so much to say but rather I couldn’t think of what to say. I guess I was afraid that people wouldn’t think what I had to say was valuable.
There were jobs I dreamed of having, but just the thought of applying for the jobs brought this feeling of major insecurities of weather I would even be capable of doing the job. Being a part of church changed my life. Being around people that knew who they were and what they stood for opened me up to the possibility that perhaps I could dream dreams and they could come true. God placed me in an environment and situations where He could begin bringing out those things He knew He had placed in me. That boldness and confidence I didn’t know that I had.
I volunteered as a youth leader for about 7 years, and those 7 years changed me in ways I never thought I could. I was challenged, inspired, humbled and saw many young people from various walks of life come into youth group lost, and without hope, facing many challenges at school and at home and just by being around people who believed in them brought out the jewels that they didn’t know they had, and as a result bringing life into their everyday life. Being a part of this youth movement and living for something bigger than myself brought things out of me that I never knew where there.
Just over 3 years ago, I got a job that involved me speaking pretty much 95 percent of the time, in presentations, in training sessions, in meetings, you name it. I could no longer hide either as this was my job and I had to deliver. I remember the first time I had to do an IT Training session, I stood in front of a group of people, and in that moment fear gripped me and I excused myself, walked out of the room, took a few deep breaths. Not knowing how I was going to walk back in there, I prayed, asking God to help me and told myself that I had to go back in there even with the fear, after all I had no other option … my boss would find out if I hadn’t taken my session. I don’t know how I found myself back in there … but somehow I was in there and trained the staff members whilst battling my fears on the inside.
Fast forward 3 years later, I work for a different company which also involves me speaking 95 percent of the time as well extensive national and US travel. I enjoy my job and I have grown in ways I never thought possible.
I have learned that, within each person is potential so big, and that we never truly know what we are capable of until we are placed in situations that force our strength to surface, where we choose to not take the easy way out, but rather challenge ourselves to go for those big dreams that seem so impossible, based on the fact that we think they are, when in reality they are actually achievable.
I still get nervous and fear still sticks its ugly head every now and then… and I don’t have it all together, but each time we all get to choose weather we will walk over to the other side of that fear or … simply stay where we are.
Sips
xoxo
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