I started my driving lessons last year and it was going really well until I went for the theory test. Now, when I was at university I was one of those that did well in their coursework whilst exams were something I had to work extremely hard at. So, I went for my theory test and I failed, then I thought, ‘Ok, I will try again’ and I did just that, and guess what? I failed again.

I felt like I was a failure

Although I was disappointed at having to do the test again, I went online and booked it…and YES I FAILED again!!!! Now my confidence was starting to sink. I was so upset about failing yet again, that for a moment I felt like I was a failure. How could something that appeared so simple be so hard? Where was I going wrong? I was doing the best I could but I wasn’t getting the results I wanted.
My boyfriend kept reassuring me not to give up and that I would pass. But my reality was telling me something else. I couldn’t see the finishing line, but something in me compelled me to keep trying. I eventually passed on my 10th attempt and the feeling was so amazing that I had actually accomplished what I had set out to do. I actually couldn’t believe I had passed.
Failing my theory test got me thinking about the word ‘resilient’ so I looked it up in the dictionary for definitions and this is what I found:

Resilient – Returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched.
A person able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.

The fact that I went for my test the second time, enabled me to do the test the third time, and despite failing again, the fact that I had already begun a pattern of getting up and trying again enabled me to book the test the 4th and 5th time until the 10th when I eventually passed.
Now, I am in no way saying I always get back up immediately when life happens, but that, on this occasion, I learnt that when you fail at something you are not really failing, rather, you are becoming resilient. This enables you to withstand or recover from difficult situations because you have trained your muscles to get back up, by getting up each time you fail.

Failure can actually redirect you in the right direction if you don’t let it freeze you

Most of the time, you will have to fight against the option to sit and wallow, and believe me its healthy to allow ourselves time to heal from disappointment, but we will not always feel like getting back up and trying again. Despite how we feel we must get back up after failing because failure is not where the story ends; failure can actually redirect you in the right direction if you don’t let it freeze you.

Usually, when you allow yourself to be resilient, you will find that your emotions will align with your resilience, and before you realise it life is good again; but the lessons you learn in ‘getting back up’ after failing will benefit you for the rest of your life.

Have a good week

Sipho xoxo